I know you have been patiently waiting for an announcement about the Stuck (Stitch Trilogy, Book 3) release date, and I cannot even begin to express how much it means to me that you are so invested in this series. You guys are truly amazing, and I am incredibly lucky to have so many enthusiastic and dedicated readers. And so, it is with a heavy heart that I’ve decided to postpone the release of the book.
As many of you may have heard, I suffered an incredibly difficult personal trauma in October, the ramifications of which are still shaping every moment of my existence. When I announced an expected 2014 release date for Stuck last year, I never in my wildest dreams (nightmares) imagined that 2014 would be spent piecing my life back together after burying my only child. My most fundamental beliefs – about the way the world works, about the nature of God, about what I have been put on this earth to do – have been irrevocably altered. In light of everything I am struggling to comprehend, I simply cannot fathom giving this trilogy the conclusion it deserves at this point in time.
As you know, my books are not a “light” read – they are complex, and they require deep and critical thought to construct. I just do not have the capacity to handle it right now. For the past several months, I kept thinking that I would wake up one day soon and that writing this book would feel like a relief, but instead, it continues to feel like an unbearable weight. The thought of taking on a project of this magnitude at this point just makes me want to dig a hole next to my daughter’s grave, climb in, and pull the dirt back over myself. If you have never grieved like this (as I hadn’t before now), I know it seems unthinkable, but even almost seven months out and with the best support anyone could ask for, I am still in survival mode; it’s all I can do just to make it through each day. Sure, I look like I’m functioning from the outside – I’m able to feed and dress myself, and to not pass the entire day in tears, so I guess that’s progress from where I was at a few months ago. But I am not “better.” I cannot just go on with my life as if nothing has happened.
I was supposed to be writing this book during the happiest time of my life, with my beautiful baby girl on my hip, at the culmination of all my most wonderful dreams. Instead, I am living a technicolor nightmare, my days full but empty, my home peaceful but barren, my heart filled with love but shattered to pieces. I know it seems that writing would offer me an “escape,” but the truth of the matter is that there simply is no escaping this sorrow. Writing has always been a joy for me; right now it feels like a chore, and a betrayal. And I really don’t want to lose my love of writing to this tragedy, too.
So, I’ve decided to officially postpone the release of the book. I’m not going to lie – I don’t know when I’m going to finish it. I’m still hopeful that it will be soon, perhaps next year, maybe the year after. Or who knows, maybe as soon as I hit “publish” on this post the weight of expectations will lift and I’ll feel ready to begin. Either way, I just want to be honest with you, my faithful readers: I just don’t know. But once I have anything definitive to report, I promise you will be the first to hear.
Thank you again for all of your understanding and support.
PS – In the meantime, check out the What Tomorrow May Bring anthology which includes Stitch as one of 10 highly-rated full-length YA dystopian reads for only $2.99, releasing May 1st on Kindle.